I am still employed. My name was not on the list in October, not on the list in March, not on the list last week. By every official measure I am fine. What nobody talks about is what being a survivor actually looks like from the inside. My team went from nine people to five. The work did not go from nine people to five. It went from nine people to five people pretending it is manageable because everyone is too anxious to say otherwise. I am doing the job I was hired to do plus most of what two other people were doing, and I am doing it while sitting in an open floor plan on back-to-back Microsoft Teams calls next to other people doing the exact same thing. Every town hall tells us we are transforming. Every all-hands has a slide about the exciting future. Not one of them mentions the 60 percent of my team that is gone or what happened to the institutional knowledge that walked out with them.